說話的藝術

撰文/王安當

說話到底要有什麼藝術？其實，說話本身就是一個藝術。無論是什麼樣的藝術，也只有從不同的角度去欣賞『藝術』其中的美，其中的意義。

我們在生活裡都要面對不同的人，也天天都在說話。有些話，我們會很謹慎地說，細細地說，慢慢地說。有些話，我們大剌剌地說，看起來重要的溝通，但給人的印象卻是滿不在乎。說起來，這些也都是一個藝術。

欣賞藝術自然是我們所鼓勵的。然而，一旦涉及了對話的藝術時，我們則需要很小心處理了。有些說話的表達涉及了語言上的表達限制，例如說者不熟悉或不太能掌握聽者的母語時，基於彼此的文化認知都不同，這也會造就一些的不舒服等等，甚至被侵犯的感覺。

有人說，除非我們都在同一個『明理』的狀態下，否則很多的溝通依然是單方面的。當然，若雙方都在同一個理念和了解的前提下溝通，自然也有一定的效果。當然這還是取決於說話的用詞、語調、表達的能力。

我們的生活也不單是藝術而已，也有一些文化上和一些宗教上的影響。文化的不同，包括對某件事情的認知和詮釋，這些都會造成一些的誤解，甚至他人的反感。宗教上的影響則是有多多少少『聖』的標準要求，例如以宗教的倫理道德意識去要求和檢驗他人的生活等等。

在這個複雜的生活圈子裡，我們都需要學習去包容以上所說的各種不同的狀況。重點不是他人怎麼說話，很多時候使我們自己要以什麼樣的心態和同理的心態去聽他人說話。當然，這也不是說話才有藝術，聆聽也就成了另一種的藝術了。

以前在大學修讀『知識論』時，就曾在課堂上探討著人類是如何去認識和解讀眼前所看見的物體，甚至在人格成長心理學裡去探討人的成長之心理是如何構成一個人的將來的成長。這些的學科都很科學，但卻提供我作為一個學生很有益處的學習。坦白說，課堂上很多的理論都是很棒的，在研究的時候，我都有一種新發現的快樂心情。直到要把所學的知識融合在具體的生活時，那才是一個真正去經驗成長的時刻。

前幾時，某位教友前來分享自己個人的生活，尤其他在服務的崗位上一種不舒服的經驗。我聽了對方的分享後，以自己的經驗分享說：『即使一個人再好，也是無法讓所有人都認同和喜歡你的。』當然，我也分享了其他個人的經驗，最終要表達的是『做好自己該做的，做“好”的意思是盡力以最適宜的方式來表達自己和完成使命。』

我們只要活著，這一輩子都在學習活著的藝術。只要活著就要面對說話和聆聽的各種學習。我們都是活到老學到老的高等動物，只不過情商到底有多高等，那就看看個人的努力和突破了。

The Art of Speaking

By Anthony Heng

What exactly constitutes the art of speaking? In truth, speaking itself is an art form. Like any form of art, it can only be appreciated from various perspectives, recognizing the beauty and meaning within.

In our lives, we encounter different people and speak every day. Some words are spoken cautiously, softly, and slowly. Others are boldly stated, seemingly important in communication but leaving an impression of indifference. Indeed, all of these are forms of art.

Appreciating art is naturally encouraged. However, when it comes to the art of dialogue, careful handling is required. Some expressions in speech encounter linguistic limitations, such as when the speaker is unfamiliar with or unable to grasp the listener's native language. Differences in cultural understanding can also lead to discomfort or even a sense of violation.

Some say that effective communication remains one-sided unless both parties are in a state of mutual understanding. Of course, effective communication also depends on the choice of words, tone, and the ability to express oneself.

Our lives are not solely artistic; they are also influenced by culture and religion. Cultural differences, including perceptions and interpretations of events, can lead to misunderstandings or even resentment. Religious influences impose moral standards that may scrutinize others' lives based on ethical awareness.

In this complex social sphere, we must learn to accommodate these diverse situations. The key is not only how others speak but also how we listen with empathy and an open mind. Listening becomes another form of art.

During my studies in epistemology at university, I explored how humans perceive and interpret the objects they see and examined the psychological aspects of personal growth in developmental psychology. While these disciplines are scientific, they were beneficial for my learning as a student. The theories discussed in class often brought a sense of joy in discovering new insights. However, applying this knowledge to real-life situations is where true growth occurs.

Recently, a friend came to share their personal experiences, particularly discomfort in their role of service. Reflecting on my own experiences, I shared, "Even if you are good, not everyone will agree with or like you." I also shared other personal anecdotes, emphasizing that "doing your best means expressing yourself and fulfilling your mission in the most appropriate manner possible."

As long as we live, we are continuously learning the art of living. We face the challenges of speaking and listening throughout our lives. We are lifelong learners, advanced animals with emotional intelligence that depends on personal effort and breakthroughs.

In conclusion, speaking and listening are intertwined arts that evolve throughout our lives. Mastering these arts requires empathy, understanding, and continuous learning.